David's Reflection (continued)

...living and working out of an authentic center, from knowing who you are and what you can and cannot do.

As I have reflected on my professional and family life, I realize that I was being "fruitful" when work seemed most effortless, most satisfying personally and professionally, and where the results were optimal. When I was trying to be "productive," I was under the most stress, work seemed most difficult, and was not fun to do. Often the result was poor as well.

I also have learned that all men and women, myself included, have a shadow side. This shadow side stems from unexamined insecurity about one's own identity. It manifests itself in quick and unforgiving condemnation of characteristics, traits or behaviors of others. By such irrational, reactive behavior, we cast our shadows onto those we deal with day to day. Our shadow side is a major impediment to leadership and an incredible block to healthy relationships. I know this truth from personal experience.

All of us have been in relationships - at work or at home or at play - where one of our colleagues cast nothing but darkness on us. We are tense, on edge in their presence. We have also been in relationships where the opposite is true. Those who cast light on us make us feel terrific! The trick for leaders is to cast more light than shadow and to do the hard work of finding and reducing the size of the shadow. I credit Parker Palmer for leading me to insights into my own shadows.

Tom Chappell, founder of Tom's of Maine, once said to me, "The soul will out." What he meant was that our deepest identity longs to express itself in our life and work. The way it "outs" can be healthy - a life lived with joy and coherence and integrity - or pathological - a life of ill-health, substance abuse, or deep unhappiness. The former derives from nurturing one's soul as it "outs;" the latter from trying to repress it. Tom taught me that the choice is ours to make.

	David with Barnegat

I believe that we all seek to live meaningful lives. I have learned that there are as many ways of finding meaning as there are people. For myself, I seek to live a more wholesome, more integrated life. I want to meet new people. I want demanding professional activities and a sense of accomplishment about what I do for a living. I want enriched relationships with my wife and children, with my colleagues and co-workers. I want rich and dependable friendships with men and women who are themselves seeking their own depths and richness. And I want the excitement of new challenges.

I believe strongly that Tarxien can make a difference in the quality of leadership in the world, and in the quality of life of people who lead others. I also believe that better leaders will lead their organizations to become more life enhancing places for people to work, will provide higher quality goods and services to their constituents and will contribute as corporate citizens to a healthier planet and more just society.

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